Frank's First Lady

Now, there is no guarantee that all, or any, of these 1st Ladies will make it through my 1st or 2nd terms as President. But I want the American people to know, and feel confident, that I, Frank will have no problem refilling their shoes, or heels, whatever the case may be.

Image of Bridget

Bridget

Cause: Education

After dropping out of high school, or was it junior high, whichever, Bridget came to see the importance of a full education, including a college degree. She now realizes, she could have explored her curiosity in other women in a much healthier 'girl-girl' environment such as a college dorm setting. Regretting this hole in her past, Bridget is quite passionate about seeing all young Americans make it to the experimental playground that is college.

Image of Candy

Candy

Cause: Drug Reform

Well, Candy is a very free spirit. She will champion the legalization of pretty much any drug she can name. And if you find it hard to believe 'Candy' is her real name, consider yourself quite astute.

Image of Lita

Lita

Cause: Fútbol

Lita is Brazilian. Lita has live, breathed, bathed in soccer for all of her 28 years. She is shocked the US cannot put together the best team in the world. She will scour the States to bring the best of the best to the forefront and we will rule the world. In soccer anyway. I propose that if other nations don't want to let us win a World Cup, we simply bomb them. By the way, Lita, "fútbol" is spelled "football".

Image of Sam

Sam

Cause: Regulated Reality TV

Simple- no more 'Reality' TV. Ok, Big Brother is grandfathered in.

Image of Serina

Serina

Cause: A Healthy Nation

Serina is a 'tight-body'. Serina is not a fan of all of the tubby kids living room couches across America are churning out these days. She blames Bush. Although she has no real reason, we don't mess with her, she's kind of tough. She also has big issues with John McCain. The night Serina saw McCain hobbling around the 'town hall' stage, she vomited, and was useless for love-time. Another reason to despise McWobble.

Image of Shauna

Shauna

Cause: Health Care

Shauna, although only 22, has had her share of heath care up's and down's. Her 1st boob-job, was not so 'perfect', and with out re-appropriating campaign dollars, she never would have been able to get a new set of fun-bags under the current health care system. Shauna recognized this tragedy, and is all over mopping up the whole system.

Vote: Who do you think should be my 1st Lady?

  • Bridget
  • Candy
  • Lita
  • Sam
  • Serina
  • Shauna