Frank's 2008 Vice Presidential running mate

Instead of picking a running mate myself (my choice would be an international piece of tail, one that I could enjoy taking long sequestered meetings with…), but unlike McSame's pick, mine would actually have a mind... it's just more challenging that way. So I will let you, the good American citizens, decide for me.

The Frank campaign is taking a new strategy. We want the nation to choose my running mate. I figure if the people select a VP candidate for me, then that's just one more step to victory. Now that's just sound politics.

Of course you may nominate yourself. If you feel you would best serve the United States of America as Frank's running mate, then all you must do is take the following evaluation. Once submitted, your results will be publicly posted for all to see and possibly build support for you. The most votes win, sort of like the real election.

You may also nominate a public figure. Once a public figure is nominated, that person may be voted for by the nation.

Pre-Qualification Quiz

Please answer all questions below:

Domestic Issues:

If you had to vote on another financial bailout, what would you do?

  • Vote "Yes" - my kids need to get to work anyways, the tax liability they incur should be motivating.
  • Vote "No" - let those corrupt companies rot.
  • Vote "No" - at first, and wait to add some riders for my lobbyists.

What would you do about immigration?

  • Only let them stay if they learn to speak proper english, or open tasty restaurants.
  • Depends on where they are coming from...
  • Let 'em stay and put 'em to work so we can start exporting cheap goods again. Will help keep the minimum wage down.

What about the homeless problem?

  • Give out well designed, embossed "Need Money" signs - those handwritten-on-cardboard things are eye sores.
  • Put 'em to work so we can start exporting cheap goods again. Will help keep the minimum wage down.
  • Teach them valuable skills like taking a shower, stealing fresh clothes and shoes, cooking easily-caught small rodents, and distilling alcohol. Self sufficient, very Rand.

Foreign Issues:

If Russia attacks, what would you do?

  • Drink yourself to death with Vodka, we'll all die anyways, might as well go out feeling good.
  • Buy stock in Vodka companies.
  • Break out the nukes, but save all of the pretty women first.

If Iran attacks Israel, what would you do?

  • As VP I would go visit Iran for "unconditional" talks, which means - if you do not agree, then you will be beheaded.
  • Isreal vs. Palestine is so the Bush term... we need new countries to hate - Bring it!
  • Break out the nukes, but save some of the pretty women first.

If China doesn't shop exporting poisoned toys, what would you do?

  • Send them tumor-causing iPhones.
  • Switch my kids to video games.
  • Break out the nukes, but save the hot curvier women first.

Who Are You?

 

State Your Case:

Tell us why you would be the best American for the job of Vice President in 200 words or less: